Hug Greeting

Greeting one another can be a special moment that all too many couples let slide through their fingers.  A hug and a peck with the brief hello is the usual fare.  Busy couples will often forgo even that little routine as they put their stuff down and go about their personal coming home rituals.

A greeting “ritual” that falls far short of the mark is greeting each other with a flood of information or complaints.  Sometimes the information is important, but it can almost always wait a minute.  Complaints are an appeal for support and understanding that may require some problem solving later.  Take one small minute to greet each other first, and both the information and the complaints will go down easier.

Creating a meaningful greeting ritual can be a very centering, nurturing way to get back in tune with one another.  As soon as you see each other after a period away, let the first thing you do be to give each other a one-minute hug. 



  • Try it in silence . . . being focused and centered on each other
  • If there are children, set up an agreement where this is your time together, and they respectfully wait a single minute
  • Greet your partner with a big ear-to-ear smile and give me a big hug.
  • If there is a height difference, create/buy a “hug box” by the door that makes up the difference.  This is lovely if one partner wishes to give a hug on the same level for a different kind of connection.  One couple created this by the taller partner giving the “hug box” at Valentines day (a romantic gesture that fed the couple ritual).
  • Like sappy movies or book scenes (picture a large flowered or grass field in the media), you start fairly far apart and start slowing moving toward one another, then moving faster, then fast walk, and then full run, and then a wild, full embrace!  Ritual would often start when saw one another from afar instead of being a planned thing, although that could work, too. 
  • If a minute is too long, try it for 30 seconds, but no less than that.
  • Combine this with the whispering-to-the-heart ritual.


Principal Purposes Served

  • Create stable touchstones
  • Emotional money in the bank
  • Foster nurturing, affectionate, loving contact